


I'm Your Villain

by let2gotwoapplebee2



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Ha Ha BUSINESS!, humanstuck AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 03:08:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/let2gotwoapplebee2/pseuds/let2gotwoapplebee2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the crisp white hotel sheets, she looks like swirls of latte and chocolate in a sea of milk. You stare at the classily generic potted branches in the corner and wonder how it is you got so damned tangled up in Feferi Peixes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Your Villain

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired entirely by the Franz Ferdinand song of the same name.  
> Just imagine everyone in suits.  
> Except Meenah and Feferi. They're New Money, they do what they want.

You sit on the edge of the bed and take a long drag off your cigarette. She’s out cold, curled loosely on the bed behind you, with her hair tangled in musslovely curls. On the crisp white hotel sheets, she looks like swirls of latte and chocolate in a sea of milk. You stare at the classily generic potted branches in the corner and wonder how it is you got so damned tangled up in Feferi Peixes.

)-(

That’s it. That is absolutely it. A cheery, fuchsia notification blinks in the corner of your screen and screams about the next asinine piece of technology you’ll have to perfect for optimal cake batter mixing or to maximize hamburger helping. Your engineering skills are being wasted here and you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who’s realized it. Robotics scholarships were rained upon you all throughout your schooling and companies threw benefits packages at you with special, savvy pitchers they sent to woo you over a nice luncheon and somehow, you settled on CrockerCorp.

Here, you are a magical robot that draws up other robots. A faceless overlord sends you a concept and maybe parameters and you shit out the next miraculously mundane, hyper-efficient factory machine. Your desk is a mess of shitty blueprints and doodles on blue paper and silver permanent marker smears and things that you wouldn’t hate if they weren’t reduced to such backstage, lowlight garbage. You can make AI bots that can generate language suitable to win poetry slams. Your favorite creation even occasionally comforts you after a particularly boring day with actual conversation and you’ve made a career out of cereal sorters. 

You are being asked to improve upon CrockerCorp’s flour sifting machines when you realize you’re too full of shit to accept any more. At first, the idea to quit knocks on your ear. You turn the TV down and pretend you aren’t home. Then, it knocks again and shouts to entertain it when Missus Contessa Peixes-Crocker comes around for her monthly check up to show you off to The Board and you peek out the blinds. It doesn’t look too bad, but there’s still something off about it, so you stay on the couch. You find yourself running to answer, though, when Quitting Dramatically’s hot cousin, Get Yourself Fired Awesomely, shows up. You let it in and begin what would be the second most life-changing romance of your life.

It’s a bit rough to start, though. The two of you really have nothing to talk about. That is, until Connie and The Board come by with her two potential heiresses. One is foul-mouthed and dressed entirely inappropriately and so pierced she couldn’t make it through a metal detector and could handily drink you under the table. The other, though, is a perfect islandurban princess. She’s flowing locks and a flowing dress. Her smile sparkles almost as much as her fauxvintage jewelry. There’s something in her bright and optimistic eyes that you just want to

Ruin.

Neither of the twins says a word to you while Contessa shows you off. You say the right pre-recorded phrases when she pulls the string on your back and she smiles her shark smile. Madame Peixes-Crocker turns her back and the group moves on. The pretty princess faces you just a moment too long, though, and you shoot her your filthiest wink. Her cheeks color and you know: this is it.

This is how you’re going to get fired.


End file.
